in other words, the results sucked.
they say i take things too hard.
do i?
it's hard to keep up the facade of laughing and fooling round in front of people
when you are weighed down by so many things
and all you want to do is break down and cry.
i bet i'll break down again.
for some reason, i can never cry with people around me
when i want to all the time.
i cannot seem to find anyone when i really want to.
so stop asking me what's wrong.
nothing will ever be wrong when someone is there.
cause no one will be when something is.
if only i'm as open as i was.
maybe everything will be fine.
but some parts of me died.
closed up
and i don't think it'll reopen soon.
and yes, everything is screwed.
so disappointed and yet there's nothing i can do.
i think i took it quite well
though the line is toed.
that many people got better than me is not encouraging.
but i shall try.
so grateful for xiu's offer.
and her mum too of course.
thank you so much babe.
once the crucial question is answered,
i'll have a direction to follow
and everything will b settled hopefully.
may God guide me through this of the many ordeals
and lead me to somewhere He knows is best for me.
i must have faith.
Amen.
